A woman calls her husband into the bedroom. "Now Mike, I want you to take off my blouse!" "Good.." "Now I also want you to take off my Bra." "Good..." "Now can you take off my panties." "Very Good! Now, don't let me catch you wearing them again!" Read 39077 times | Rated 48.6 % | (224 votes)

Introduction: Jack and Jill got raped Jack and Jill went up the hill, the Grim Reaper came down. He pulled out his slash, raped their ass, and the corpses fell to the ground. Read 25824

After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool." "It isn't possible,

A Japanese tourist got separated from his group on tour in Amsterdam. He ends up in the red light district, and decides to have a go. He enters a sex shop, goes up to the guy behind the counter and asks, "One condom please." He gets the answer they only sell condoms by six, nine or twelve. "But I only need one condom!" says the Japanese. "Too bad, we only sell them by six, nine or

A really great jazz pianist is playing for a jam session and a nightclub owner is listening to him wow the crowd with his playing ability. The club owner goes over to the pianist after the session and asks him if he is currently booked somewhere. The piano player tells him that he doesn't have any gigs lined up and so the bar owner asks him if he would like to come in and audition for

Introduction: It's one of three... Will died and was sent to Hell. Unfortunately, it was already full. So the Devil took him to see three rooms where he could work for etermity. In the first room, there was a man who had to swim after swim so he would not sink in a bottomless lake. Will thought that it's very tough and decided not to pick that. So the Devil s

Having already downed a few power drinks, the woman turned to the man beside her, looked him straight in the eyes and said, “Listen up, Buddy. I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean… it doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been doing it ever since I got out of c

Introduction: I've STILL been getting a fair few emails from people (I'm assuming women) that I'm not posting enough jokes critisising men (ofcourse it couldn't possible have anything to do with the possibility that I'm a guy, right ladies?), and since due to demand I've just added a page called "Jokes about Women" I thought it'd be fair to put a slightly longer one about men....

Introduction: Many people have emailed me especially requesting a page where I just have jokes about women, since they want to be sexist bastards, but just can't remember any of the sexist ones and/or are too lazy to look for them sifting through other jokes, so yes i know these jokes are repeats of my other jokes, but just bear with me....... Why do only 10%

Q. What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman? A. Sexual harassment. Read 24051 times | Rated 45.3 % | (141 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A. So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor. Read 22638 times | Rated 44.3 % | (140 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Q. What's gray, sits at the bed and takes the piss? A. A kidney dialysis machine. Read 23164 times | Rated 45.2 % | (141 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. What happens when you kiss a canary? A. You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease. Read 24729 times | Rated 44.9 % | (138 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Q. What's the definition of macho? A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy. Read 25313 times | Rated 47.3 % | (138 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus? A. At the circus, the clowns don't talk. Read 25517 times | Rated 48.1 % | (138 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A. He buys 2 cases of beer instead of one. Read 24307 times | Rated 46.3 % | (137 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 co

Q. What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market? A. Good morning Girls Read 24757 times | Rated 49.4 % | (142 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? A. Bingo Read 23760 times | Rated 48.3 % | (139 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? A. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. Read 28940 times | Rated 42.6 % | (487 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Q. What is better than a cold Bud? A. A warm bush. Read 22750 times | Rated 47.9 % | (139 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? A. They're going to call her Old Spice. Read 24340 times | Rated 47.4 % | (144 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. Why do women pierce their bellybutton? A. Place to hang their air freshener. Read 24756 times | Rated 46.3 % | (165 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? A. The dog, once he's in, he shuts up! Read 29811 times | Rated 56.9 % | (284 votes) Vote list (Close) :Dirty Samone : POSITIVE

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting. Read 22896 times | Rated 46.8 % | (152 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count? A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows. Read 22061 times | Rated 47.4 % | (190 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 co

Q. What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant? A. The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm... Read 23526 times | Rated 47.8 % | (138 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a flea? A. An itchy cock. Read 23442 times | Rated 48.6 % | (141 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Introduction: christian school... in class... sallys asleep the teacher turns to the class and see sally asleep on her desk... she then asked the class "who created the hevens and earth in 7 days?, sally?" jonny sore sally a sleep so to help her out. he grabed his pencile and stabed her ass with it she screamed out "god almighty!" the teacher was suprised s

A six year old kid walks in to his parents' room. When he opened the door, he stopped in shock when he saw his father pumping away at his mom. The kid says, "Hey, Dad, what are you doing?" The father was surprised to hear his kid's voice from behind so he stopped pumping, but didn't pull his rod out. Without turning his head, he answered.... "Ah, er..... Nothin' son, ah...... I

Introduction: sorry there are any repostes This foreign man is sitting in a bar and notices two lovely women across the way. He calls the bartender over and in a thick accent and somewhat broken English says, ”I like to buy those ladies drinks.” The bartender replies, “It won’t do you any good.” The foreign man, with a confused look on his face says, “Not mat

This guy in a bar notices a woman, always alone, who comes in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. "No thank you," she said politely. "This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I'm keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love." "That must be rather difficult," the man replied. "Oh, I don't mind too much," she said. "But, it has my husband pret

This joke is between KING & HIS MINISTER ..... Today there is a serious conflict between the king & queen so he can't even touch her fingertip even he is so horny...!! The next day in the cabinet ..... KING: Hae! Why your right nostril is bigger than your left one?? Do any one drilled your nose?? Minister: yes! Lord! KING: who the Fuck did this to you ?? Minister: you only my lord!! KI

There is this chinese family with surname Kok just decided to migrated to United State. The father tell his childred, "why does we each get a Christian name once we are in United State, so it will be easier for us to introduce ourself to the American. " All the children agree. This man thinks for a while and say I will name myself Robert as to Robert Kok. I will name my eldest son

A lady walks into a tattoo parlor and says "I want a tattoo of a turkey on the inside of my right leg, and on the inside of my left leg I want a tattoo of a Christmas tree" The guy doing the tattoo goes "Why do you want tattoos of those things?" The lady replies with: "Well because my husband always complains that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

A man gets to Las Vegas and cannot wait to hit the Casino's. Sure enough Lady Luck smiles on him and he hits it big. Taking his winnings, the Casino offers him the High Roller's suite. On his way up he tips the Butler, and says: "I hear Las Vegas has the BEST hooker in the world right here" The Butler replies "Yes that is true sir" "send her up!" the Guy says. About an hour later t

The newly-weds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on." The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers." "And don't forget that" he replies, "I will always wear the trousers in this family!" The bride takes off he

What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together? Ans: 100 people who don't do dick. Read 37964 times | Rated 47.3 % | (253 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

A school teacher was teaching her first graders about religion and explaning in detail how after death the soul goes to heaven and the body stays on earth. So after half an hour she started asking her pupils questions, and then she asked a boy named Jason: Tell me Jason what part of the body did i say goes to heaven first? Jason looked at the teacher and said -Well miss you said that

Here are a couple of jokes for you guys, they are not my original work, but I thought they were funny. So please enjoy them. Why do lesbians shop at Gander Moutain? A: Because they don't like Dick's. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A: A lick-a-lota-pus. A gay couple and a lesbian couple are both going from San Francisco to New York who gets there first? A: The gay guys, they had t

It was reported that a lesbian couple in San Francisco decided that one of them should get a sex change operation. Do you know what the name of the procedure for this is called? Ans: An addadictomy. Read 38838 times | Rated 45.8 % | (423 votes) Vote list (Close) :

There was a very rich man who was obsessed with parties.he organised party for anything he bought be it small or big. Once he bought a new underwear and decided to do a party.but when getting ready for party,being in hurry he forgot to wear his NEW underwear. He went to the stage to announce the reason of the party and dropped his pants on the floor thinking he was wearing the underwea

A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear

Introduction: A girl with scary prays David had a wonderful family. His parents were nice, he had a loving wife and a little girl, who prayed every night like she was taught. Once, David went to her door to say good night and heard that she was still praying. She said: - Bless mum, bless dad, bless granma and bye bye granpa. A little confused he went to say g

There was a 12 year old boy named David. He had heard about this house where you could go and have sex with any woman. There was one woman who had herpes. But, she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. Most of the town has herpes because they had fucked her. Well, one day the little boy was dragging a dead frog on a string up to the door of the house. When a woman answered he

A little boy asks his father if he can get in the shower with him and he says yes. So they get in and the father says don't look down and he does. The boy said whats that and

This little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says,"Oh, well I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes

There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until

LITTLE GIRL EXPLAINING WHERE BABIES COME FROM One afternoon, a little girl returns home from school and announces to her mother that her friend has told her where babies come from. Amused, her mother replies: "Really, sweetie, why don't you tell me all about it?" The little girl explains, "Well... okay... the mommy and daddy take off all their clothes, and the daddy's thingy so

Introduction: I love sex. But didn't expect to get any... I learned when I was fourteen how much my body can give me pleasure. I also learned that it was absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. For as long as I can remember, I masturbated. Ok, when I was six I didn’t know that’s what I was doing, but I knew that I could make myself feel good, so I did it. Of cou

Little Johnny was seven years old, and like other boys his age, rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys and he wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his questions to his mother, and she became flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and