A young boy comes into the kitchen and tells his mother that the brown cow fucked the white cow. His mom explains that this is not a nice word and from now on if he sees this he should say that the brown cow surprised the white cow. The next day was the mother's bridge club and with all her lady friends present the boy runs into the house and says, "Mom, guess what?" The mother

Why does a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer? A Prostitute can clean her crack and sell it again! Read 42880 times | Rated 48.5 % | (290 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

Introduction: The people who created pussy. Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a

A typical married couple were lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he paused and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while. Then he would stop, and resume reading his book. The wife gradually became aroused with this. Thinking that

Introduction: If you've heard this, too bad for you. Once, a curious 5-year-old heard her parents arguing. She eavesdropped as they called each other names like bitch and bastard. She interrupted and asked them what a bitch is and what a bastard is. Her mother told her that a bitch is a woman and a bastard is a man. That night after their parents made up she

Introduction: This a fixing of my previously very messed up post. And sorry I suck at telling jokes but you get the jest of it. There were three nurses that hadn't been laid in a really long time cuz they were all too busy with work. Well, one of the times they were bringing a body to the morgue they notice a kinda tent on the mid section so they get curious

There were three nurses that happened laid in a really long time cuz they were all too busy with work. Well, one of the times they are bringing a body to the morgue they notice a kinda tent on the mid section so they get curious and decide to peak. When they do tehy realize he extremely cute so the began to discuss it. After much debate they agre that they were all fuck him before they

Introduction: Itz her first time letz enjoy the story...please i need your comment and vote,this my 2nd story...thanks for reading...itz me your boy drealprince. An older guyMe and my girlfriendsgo to the movie theaterjust about everyweekend. We like totease the employees andcustomers by wearingVERY revealingclothing. I considermyself to be pretty.About 5'4 w

Introduction: This one's pretty long, but in my opinion its well worth the read once you get to the end. Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the followi

Introduction: Boss's Wife “Oooh Tammy you keep sucking me like that and you’re going to make me cum in your mmmmoooouuuutttthhhh.” I locked in on Tammy’s eyes and with her fingers wrapped around me she kept sucking until every last drop was consumed. She was so proud of what she had just accomplished. Tammy opened her mouth and allowed me to withdraw then wi

Little Lucy found her cat, Tiddles, lying on the ground with its eyes shut, and its legs stiff in the air. "Daddy! What's wrong with Tiddles?" Daddy gently said, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy." "But why are his legs sticking up in the air, Daddy?" asked Lucy, as she fought back the tears. At a loss for something to say, he replied, "Well, ah, Tiddles' legs are pointing

As a mother passed her daughter's closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from within. Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator. Shocked, she asked, "What in the world are you doing? The daughter replied, "Mom, I'm thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing is about as close as I'll ever get to a husband.

David Copperfield has just finished his magic show. He decides to ask the audience if they have any tricks they would like to share. Nobody puts their hand up except one man. David beckons him on to the stage and tells him to perform his trick. The man says "For this trick, David, I will require the assistance of the lovely Claudia Schiffer and I will also need a table." He walks C

Dear Abby: I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place we reviewed the list an

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done th

One evening a husband comes home to his apartment very roughed up. When his wife sees him she asks, "What happened to you?" "I got into a fight with the apartment manager." "Whatever for?" "He said he had slept with every woman in the complex except one!" The woman replied, "I bet it's that snooty Mrs. Gellar on the third floor." Read 42396 times |

What is the definition of making love? Ans: What your wife does while you are fucking her. Read 38440 times | Rated 48.4 % | (222 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman respond

A couple were having financial problems until finally they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money through prostitution to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband asked. "Well", the woman respon

Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before. Dianne goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor, I've got a bit of a problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you." The doctor tells her to go behind the screen and disrobe. She does so, and the doctor goes round to see her when she is ready. "Well, what is it?" he asks. "It's a bit embarrassin

One evening, Mike went over to his friend's house to play cards with Terry and some other friends. Mike sat directly across from Terry's wife Susan. When Mike dropped a playing card on the floor and bent down to pick it up, he looked across underneath the table and saw that Terry's wife had her legs wide open with no panties on. Mike then sat up and tried hiding the fact that he was f

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Ans: Spit, Swallow, and Gargle. Read 35914 times | Rated 48.5 % | (176 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Whats the difference between acne and priests? Acne usually comes on a boys face after the age of 13. Read 29151 times | Rated 48.1 % | (311 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    8 c

(with respect to my brother in arms The Marines who tell this Joke differently) One day A boy was taking a piss in the bathroom, when a Marine Walked in in his dress uniform. The Boy looked up wide eyed and said "Wow, are you a REAL Marine?" "Thats RIght Boy" the Marine said "Wanna wear my hat?" SURE the boy said taking the hat and trying it on while the Marine went into a stall. Jus

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? Ans: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again! Read 38155 times | Rated 49.5 % | (228 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

What is the difference between a golf ball and the G-spot? Ans: A man will spend 20 minutes looking for his golf ball. Read 37318 times | Rated 47.2 % | (229 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

What's the difference between Mayonnaise and semen? Ans: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at thirty miles an hour. Read 40341 times | Rated 49.6 % | (162 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

What is the difference between meat and fish? Ans: If you beat your fish, it will die. Read 36947 times | Rated 49.4 % | (231 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW? Ans: A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Read 40925 times | Rated 48.9 % | (347 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comme

What's the difference between an airline stewardess and a bowling ball? Ans. You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. Read 38985 times | Rated 49 % | (198 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:   

What is the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish shepherd? Ans: The Stones said, "Hey, you! Get off of my cloud." The Scottish Shepherd says, "Hey McCloud! Get off of my ewe." Read 36954 times | Rated 49 % | (261 votes) Vote list (Close) :

What is the difference between a steel belted radial and 365 used condoms? Ans: One is a Goodyear and the other is a GREAT YEAR! Read 37273 times | Rated 50.7 % | (233 votes) Vote list (Close) :Dirty Samone : POSITIVE

What do dildos and soybeans have in common? Ans: Both are meat substitutes. Read 39417 times | Rated 47.3 % | (327 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Introduction: Forgot some info here the better one hope you like it A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sper

Introduction: suggestive pick up lines. Hope ya like. Do you live on a chicken farm? 'Cause you sure know how to raise a cock. Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention. You're just like my little toe, because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home. Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you're makin

Introduction: This gynecologist gets a surprise from a patient. A gynecologist is getting ready for his first appointment of the day, who happens to be a very attractive woman. As she enters, he thinks to himself, "I'm going to fuck her." So, he calls her in and gets her set up on the table and begins to grope her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing?" he ask

It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs... And the wife rolls over and plays dead. Read 50217 times | Rated 53.7 % | (472 votes) Vote list (Close) :jerry3ddd

Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one. "Well, not exactly." his friend replied, "she's more into the trick dog aspect of it." "Oh, I see, kinky, huh?" "Well, not exactly - I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead." Read 38619 times | Rated 4

A guy is looking out in his front yard and notices two dogs having sex. He goes outside and sees his neighbor watching them also. He tells the neighbor that he wishes he could make love to his wife that way and the neighbor tells him all he has to do is give his wife a few martinis and that should do the trick. Several weeks later the neighbor sees the man and asks him if the marti

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand.

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't

A guy worked in an adult book store. One afternoon his friend walked in. The guy said, "Dude,thank goodness you showed up!" "I'm starving, and I need you to watch the counter for me for a few minutes, while I run across the street to get some lunch." The friend looked around the store, then looked back at his friend oddly. The guy said, "Dude, don't ask any questions, just sell it to

A man is looking for a Christmas gift for his wife, and after walking through the mall for hours he gives up and goes to the bar. He sees a friend of his sitting at the bar. He goes over to him and says, " I will buy you a drink if you can give me some ideas about what to buy my wife for Christmas." His friend replies, "I got my wife a pair of slippers and a vibrator." He looks at his

Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated, and yes, i know this joke is alot shorter then most of my other ones, sorry about that, I'll probably add bigger ones when I have the time. What men would do if they had a vagina for a day:- 10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers. 9. Squat over a hand-held mirr

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adulterin' bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!" "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but

this man walk into bar . he meet a woman in bar so he buy her a drink and they get to be talking. he buy her some more and they keep talking. so she say do you wanna go somewhere big boy? so he say sure my car is out front. he drive them to lovers lane. she and him make out. she say you want a blowjob? he say yeah. so she say i forgot to say i'm an escort, but i give you blowjob for on

Introduction: Lovers in bed. A husband comes home drunk every night, he then climbs into bed without turning a light on and falls fast asleep. His wife has taken a lover and they are always in bed till they hear the husband come in. One night they hear him come home and the wife says, "Stay in bed with me, he will never notice as he will be so drunk. So he re

A drunk get's on the bus and goes to the back of the bus. The driver goes down the street and a girl enters the bus and the driver says, "Tickle your cunt with a feather." The girl says, "What did you say?" The bus driver says, "Typical country weather." He does this about four more times when the drunk gets up and goes to the driver and says, "What do you keep asking these you

Dutch Virgin Q: What do you call a virgin in Dutch? A: Goodandtight! Read 74102 times | Rated 53.7 % | (1404 votes) Vote list (Close) :anuraag : POSITIVElorni : POSITIVEBo Peep : NEGATIVE

Introduction: Basiclly I'm Cinemasins for this site. Everything wrong with “I found my sister stripping.” by Dark_Brother Fiction, Bi-sexual, Blowjob, Consensual Sex, Cum Swallowing, Drug, Female exhibitionist, Female/Female, First Time, Incest, Lesbian, Oral Sex, Virginity Author's infos Introduction: A little long, but hope you enjoy This is my first story