This couple go to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off, "A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year." The wife nudges her husband in the ribs and comments, "See! That was more than 5 times a month!" The second bull is to

There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling the urge

I would like to dedicate this joke to my great friend [NMS]PKed, he will love this. A couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been too afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he raises up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing and making out, he opens his zipper and guides her hand

Introduction: First time adventures of any kind may or may not have a life lone good memory. Your first sexual contacts with the ultimate pleasure one expeirnces is not easily forgotten......Enjoy We all have had own individual experiences as to how we introduced to wonders of sex be by others or by ourselves. This may have happen early in our lives or ot

Introduction: 'I can suck' One day, a 77 year old Gran got off the train, and saw the huge line of chicks lining up. so Gran asked to a gorgeous blonde girl, "whats this line for?" "ER.... Um.....umm.... ERRr.... This line.... is for... they give you candies if you line up.." she replied She was lying.. It wasnt.. It was for the prostitues checking if they ha

Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girl's house. One day he he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says "See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can't have one!" The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mother about the encounter. She runs out and buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding

Every day a 4th grade boy walks home from school past a 4th grade girl's house. One day he he stops to taunt the little girl. He holds up the football and says "See this football? Football is a boys game and girls can't have one!" The little girl runs in the house crying and tells her mother about the encounter. She runs out and buys the girl a football. The next day the boy is riding

Introduction: simple country ma The town of Tze Chiang is a days ride to the city of Langzhou and 2 days walk back. Ah Sang is country farmer who ploughs and farm padi for a living. This very day, he needs some buffaloes to help him, as the winter months has just ended. He travelled by bus to the city and bought some 10 buffaloes.With all the money spend, he

WHAT ARE THE 6 BEST KINGS THAT WILL KEEP YOUR MAN FROM STRAYING....................................................... ANSWER: FUC-KING

A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said: "You rest here while I register - I'll be back within an hour." The wife lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out

This woman is driving into a small town and slams on the brakes as a coyote runs across the road in front of her. Just as she regains her wits and gets ready to proceed, a cowboy runs right in front of her and catches the coyote by the hind legs and starts screwing it. "Oh my God!" she exclaims and drives into town to find the local law. She sees the local sheriff's car parked in front

Mr. Johnson got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. One day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Mr. Johnson, your barracks door is open." He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her i

An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. "I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said. The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!" Read 141553 times | Rated 43 % |

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm

A teenager comes home from school and asks her mother "Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?" "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have to explain it to her daughter. "But then when I have a baby," responded the teenager "won't it knock my teeth out?"

A man just finished going down on a japan womans pussy, when she let out a fart....... her reply was "Me, so sorrry, you just ate my pussy so well, my other end was blowing you a kiss... Read 26373 times | Rated 50.6 % | (314 votes) Vote list (Close) :

A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new "city" outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, "Yes ma'am, ya see, I'm from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit." Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, "Where he would like to start?" "Well ma'am, how about a suit?" "Yes sir, what size?" "Size 53 ... tall, ma

On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My word, you are so beautiful, let me take your p

Introduction: Just a joke check it out... A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you g

A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex." This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept. Well, the first night of their ho

FATHER PATRICK WAS TALKING TO HIS REPLACEMENT IN A SMALL VILLAGE CHURCH. 'FATHER MICHAEL'HE SAYS,YOU WILL BE LOOKING AFTER MY FLOCK FROM NOW ON.'BUT WHERE DO I START?THE YOUNG PRIEST REPLIES.'YOUV'E BEEN HEARING CONFESSIONS FOR OVER 50 YEARS,I'LL BE LOST'.

Introduction: Read and Laugh A class of elementary school kids is flying to D.C. with their teacher. Also on the plane are a lawyer and a Catholic Priest. Half way through the trip, the captain comes on the intercom and says that the plane is going down and everyone has to jump. The Teacher yells out "Save the Children!" The Lawyer says "Fuck the Children!" T

Introduction: worst joke ever Wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccavvvv Worst joke ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Aa

Introduction: really bad joke €~€€|€JJjjinjnefujjjnrjdjjvjhrgfhfyhvdjggntttntjjjdiejgfjujjjjjjjjfjfjjjjufj Yo moma so ugly she gave Freddy Cuoger night mares Fghfhrgfgfbfhejhttfjrjtjfntjfbfgijj Yo mama so fat when she died she broke the stairway to heaven Yo mama so fat she invented the flat screen Fjjufjfjfjekfjfjenfej{€*€^€ <€€€€!€€€€.|~€,!~ €€€€^}^}€€*~€~€

Introduction: One of the most messed up stories I've ever written! Bam bam shiga wang! - Digimon lemon for Iceflame 88's contest YES. I do not know anything about digimons. Oh and…. This is NOT that serious lemon as you will see after reading it a little. Some people use excuses that their lemon is messed up and even paronoid. Well, I don't have any excuses,

INGREDIENTS: 2 laughing eyes 2 loving arms 2 well shaped legs 2 warm milk containers 1 fur lined mixing bowl 1 large banana METHOD: 1. look into laughing eyes 2. spread well shaped legs 3. squeeze and message milk containers very gently until fur-lined mixing bowl is well greased 4. add banana and gently work in and out until creamed 5. cover with nuts and sigh with relief NOTES: Bread

A young man is going to war. Leaving his girlfriend behind. He starts to lonely was he is being shipped over. So he goes to the captain of the vessel and asks for some advice. The captain tell him that other men keep a barrel in the lower decks and when they get lonely they stick their penises in the hole of the barrel. The young man is repulsed by this. But as the trip lingers on he i

A guy is sitting in a bar when he notices an attrative young woman sitting just down the bar. "What the hell?" he thinks and goes to talk to her. "Hi how are you?" He asks. She turns and screams. "What no I won't sleep with you!" The guy is shocked and retreats to his seat. Later the same woman walks up to him. "I'm sorry about that but i'm a physoclogy major and i'm doing research o

Introduction: I can't remember where these came from (I've got thousands more of all types) 25 Good Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Women 1. You can enjoy a beer all month long 2. Beer stains wash out 3. You don't have to wine and dine beer 4. Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car while you play baseball 5. When you beer goes flat, you toss it out 6. Ha

Introduction: As always your comments, ratings, and jokes are greatly appreciated It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy... A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement. Advantage: Beer. A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot. Advantage: Pussy. Having an ice cold beer makes you sati

Introduction: Donna calls for Princess. The telephone rings and Mr’s Blake answers knowing it will be Donna wanting to talk to Princess about the wonderful fucking she had during Beths incestation celebrations. “Donna honey Princess is up in her bedroom placing cameras. She has decided to record every fuck be it anal or cunt; plus all oral and finger orgasms.

A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their their sexual body language. They got some good advice about using hand signals to tell each other what was desired in bed. When they got home the husband said, "Okay, when we get into bed and I want sex, I will rub your left breast with my hands. When I don't want sex, I will rub your right breast." "Well okay, but what abou

What is the biggest problem for an atheist? Ans: No one to talk to during orgasm. Read 82300 times | Rated 47.2 % | (1790 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

Mike goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs., 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs. each, Turner Brown." Mike just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks,

Bill clinton was sitting at the presedents desk signing important papers, suddenly his sexy new secratary walks over Bill clinton gets a hard on. his secratary notices and says "Bill you have 2 heads, unforantly you only have enouph blood to run one at a time so stop using the smaller one and grow a pair" Read 36471 times | Rated 34.2

What kind of birds deliver babies?- Storks. What kind of birds don't deliver babies? - Swallows. Read 73535 times | Rated 44 % | (1388 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

One morning while making breakfast, a man walks up to his wife and pinches her on her butt and says, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get r

Karen lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Karen says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies: "Mom! I have someone for you to meet. Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns

If a blonde could be any fish, what fish would she be? A blowfish Read 64289 times | Rated 49.4 % | (1075 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    23 comments«12345»Anonymous readerRepo

A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she eases it over onto the shoulder. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing on-coming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in t

hat do you call ten naked blondes in a tree? Ans: Country. Read 112149 times | Rated 38.3 % | (2290 votes) Vote list (Close) :Bluesin69 : NEGATIVE Please rate this text:   

A blonde goes into the Western Union office and says to the clerk, "I need to get a message to my mother in New York city quickly, so how much?" "Well that will be $80.00," he tells her. "$80.00!" she exclaims, "I don't have nearly that much money in my purse. Please help me out. I will do anything you want if you let me contact my mom." "Anything," he asks. "Yes, anyth

A sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so the sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this"? Cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff: I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhea

One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death. "Oh, shit!" the woman thought, "what a stupid way to die." Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into t

How can you tell a blondes been in a refrigerator? Ans: There's a condom on the pickle. Read 96500 times | Rated 42.4 % | (1549 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo under a glass table! Read 34938 times | Rated 50.8 % | (190 votes) Vote list (Close) :slimjack1975 : POSITIVE Please rate this text:   

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims. "I don't have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland !!!!" To that the man asks, "Anything?" And the blonde says, "yes.. Anything"!! With that, the man says "Follow me." He walks into the next room

Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint? It's not very bright, but it spreads easy. Read 90877 times | Rated 44.1 % | (1785 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comm

Why did the blonds belly button hurt after sex? Ans: Her boyfriend was blond. Read 94603 times | Rated 45.4 % | (1525 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comments