The husband emerged from the bathroom naked, anwas climbing into the bed when his wife complained as usual,"I have a headache." "Perfect," the husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. You can take it orally or as a suppository, it's up to you." Read 43801 times | Rated 49.3 % | (4

Introduction: VIVA LA FRANCE!! Wigi wigi wild wild west! -Digimon lemon for Iceflame 88's contest by MISTER BIG T After MISTER BIG T made the Bam bam shiga wang lemon, AIDS (All Intelligent Digimon Servants) got angry from it, saying a vampire becoming a Digi emperor was not cool. They also sued MISTER BIG T for not using word destined heroes in a Digimon lem

Introduction: A joke for the ppl who never heard it before. Two guys went to a gas station that was holding a contest: a chance to win free sex when you filled your tank. They pumped their gas and went to pay the male attendant. "I'm thinking of a number between one and ten," he said. "If you guess right, you win free sex." "Okay," agreed one of the guys, "I

A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her. "You've led a long and good life" the genie said, "I have come to reward you by granting you three wishes. Ask for anything you want and I will make it happen." The old lady was surprised but cynical. Not really believing that anything would happen she decided to play alon

Introduction: Nothing past the critics Everything wrong with “Wizards of Waverly Place” by Klue Fiction, Blowjob, Cum Swallowing, Female solo, Incest, Masturbation, Teen, Teen Male/Teen Female, Virginity This is a story about the Disney show Wizards of Waverly Place and the Russo family. Alex, the sister, Justin and Max, the older and younger brother, Alex’s

A woman walks into the nearest EEOC office and files a sexual HARASSMENT lawsuit against her boss. She states as the basis of her complaint that her boss sniffed her hair and commented how terrific it smelled. After filling out the forms, she was then interviewed by one of the field investigators. The investigator looked at her complaint and asked the lady what happened to cause her to

A woman from France is touring in the United States when she develops a serious case of the crabs. She decides to go to a pharmacy and get some medicine for her condition. Her English is not very good and she tells the pharmacist, "I vould like some medicine that geet reed of bugs in de bush." The pharmacist misunderstood her and told her to go over to section with lawn care products a

Did you hear about the woman who was like a refrigerator? Everyone wants to put their meat in her. Read 34112 times | Rated 42.8 % | (316 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    0 comme

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked The Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says: "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her e

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge fed tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "what do you do to get your tomatoes so red?" The gentleman responded, "Well twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden and expo

A woman got pulled over by a traffic cop for speeding and she didn't have either her driver's license or any other identification. She started pleading with the cop to give her a break because she had received many other tickets recently and couldn't afford to have any more points on her record. She pleaded and pleaded with the cop to let her off with just a warning and when her pleadi

Introduction: Women bursting to piss. Two women were walking home after a girls night out. They were both pissing themselves. They reached a cemetery and decided it would be a safe place to empty their bladders. After they had finished one of them took off her pants to dry herself between the legs, then threw them away. The other one thought I am not losing

Two women go out one weekend without their husbands. As they came back,just before dawn, both of them drunk, they felt the urge to pee. They noticed that the only place to stop was a cemetery. Scared and drunk, they stopped and decided to go there anyway. The first one did not have anything to blot herself with, so she took her panties off, used them and discarded them. The second, not

There is a construction worker on a third story building, which is being built. He needs a hand saw but he can't find one, so he looks around and sure enough he sees one on the first floor of the building. So he tries to get another worker's attention on the first floor by yelling but that doesn't work. So after throwing numerous objects at the guy on the first floor, he finally gets h

Introduction: Paddy goes to a work seminar. Paddy is attending a seminar on ‘work ethic’. In the room is a bloke called Max, a carriage clock and a dwarf mother of three. ‘Right Paddy,’ the dwarf says, ‘Max & I are going to demonstrate some examples of our attitude to work. Afterwards we’d like you to show us an example of your own. The dwarf picks up the ca

There once was a cucumber, a stick, and a dick. The cucumber said, "I have a terrible life. People cut me up and eat me." The stick shook his head and said, "My life is worse. People cut me up and burn me!" The dick shook his head and said, "I had the worse life out of either one of you. People shove me in a dark room and make me do push-ups until I throw-up."

Introduction: I find out that one of my friends is still taking sex education/human sexuality. Ok, so check this shit. People in my dorm think I am the smartest damn individual in the building. Everyone in this place always comes to me with computer problems. Ok, so I am at the Library and Arielle (Same as in my first story) came up to me and said, "Bo can

Introduction: You know the world's going crazy when.... -You know the world is crazy when the best rapper is a white guy -the best golfer is a black guy -France is calling the U.S. arrogant -germany does not want to go to war -the three most powerful men in America are named "bush"..."dick"...and "colon"/ and are in iraq and don't know when to pull out.

Introduction: pm me or mail me at iamemo93@ymail.com or comment concerning this A young boy walked in on his parents while they were having sex. He was frightened and asked his parents what they where doing. They didn't say anything but his mother took him to his room instead. The next day, his parents sat him down and decided to talk about what their young s

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids." Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper f

Introduction: A joke an old friend of mine used to tell a lot. Pretty long, but the payoff is good. Lol Ok, so let me start by saying that heaven has gotten far too crowded lately, and as such God was forced to change the rules of admission. Now, not only does one have to live a good life, repent for their sins, and accept Jesus, but they also must have a rea

Alright guys you've been married for years to your high school sweetheart and things are good! Remember the first time you got to fuck her how tight her lil pussy felt as it gripped so tight around your cock! Oh damn that was pure heaven am I right? Now some years later and after 2 kids its not the same at all,still feels good sure it does but not very tight. Well guys you want to know

Introduction: Sean Reynolds sat on the edge of the bed, with only a white bath towel draped across his lap to protect his modesty - a modesty that was in serious danger from the sight only a dozen or so feet away. Short of closing his eyes, it would've been impossible for the twenty-one year old redhead not to see the woman in whose name the motel room had been registered. She had,

man and his wife are doing yard work. Husband says to wife, "Your butt is as wide as the grill." She ignores the remark. A little later the husband takes his measuring tape and goes over to his wife while she is bending over working in a flower bed. He measures her rear end and gasps, "Geez, it IS as wide as the grill!" Later that night while in bed her husband starts to feel frisky.

Introduction: Woman in pharmacist. A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked him straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explai

Introduction: nope Yo momma so fat she made the flat screen yo momma so fat when she died she broke the stair way to heaven Yo momma so ugly she gave freddy couger nightmares yo momma so big she ate the universe yo momma so evil she made the devil her slave yo momma so tall she can see heaven Yo momma so stupid she thought everybody had a pussy Yo momma so fa

Introduction: this is my first time writing so cut me some slack yo momma is so fay she has her own orbit yo momma so poor i saw her kickin a can down the street and i asked her what she was doin she said she was movin yo momma is just like chinese food sweet,sour,and cheap yo momma is just like strawberries sweet, and goes great with suga

Introduction: Just when you think 'yo moma' jokes are out, a douchbag like me brings them back in......... Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion. Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips. Your mom's so fat, I have to take a bus a train and a cab just to get on her good side. Your mother's so fat, her clothes have stretch marks. Your m