Introduction: Short...and not so Sweet There once was an old lady named 'Lil' She used a stick of dynamite for a thrill! They found her vagina in North Carolina, And bits of her tits in Brazil! A pirate, history relates Was scuffling with some of his mates When he slipped on a cutlass Which rendered him nutless And practically useless on dates A randy mars

EGGS A traveling salesman whose car has broken down goes to the door of the closest farmhouse. The farmer says, "You can spend the night but you'll have to share a room with my beautiful daughter." "Oh, I don't mind that," exclaims the salesman. "Just one thing," says the farmer. "No funny business." "Oh no sir," says the salesman. "You can count on me." Just to be safe, the farmer bui

Introduction: An old favorite Frank owned a full grown African Elephant and due to the rising costs of living, he found it was getting expensive to feed his pet. Frank thought long and hard for a solution and upon watching a circus program on T.V. thought of the perfect scam to make some quick money. You see Frank had seen elephants stand on three legs, two l

A teacher is teaching her class of eight year olds English. She asks her young pupils to use the word ‘fascinate’ in a sentence. The class goes quiet for a moment until little Tommy raises his hand. The teacher hesitates for a moment as Tommy has a reputation for being rude and disruptive. As the rest of the class remains silent, the teacher finally gives in. Tommy stands up and says,

An Aussie once visited England. While there he was walking down a country lane alongside a farm. After a while he saw an English sheep farmer fucking one of his sheep. To this the Aussie yells, "Aye, Mate! In Australia we shear those!" To which the farmer replies, "I ain't sharing nothing with you. Go and get your own.!" Read 36760 times |

A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years. As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there, th

Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing Home residents. They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her husband had come to the nursing home. The other woman said that her sex life was great! "I put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like th

Introduction: Basiclly I'm Cinemasins for this site. Every thing wrong with “An incest birthday” by nivek_88 Fiction, Consensual Sex, Incest, Teen Male/Teen Female Introduction: this is my first story, let me know what you think, positive and negative comments welcome Ever since i can remember, me and my twin sister were like best friends. We've done everyth

Introduction: Basiclly I'm Cinemasins for this site. Every thing wrong with “An Incest Birthday Chapter 22“ by nivek_88 Yesh, I know tI should wait and do 3, but I can’t wait to see what happens next Fiction, Blackmail, Coercion, Consensual Sex, Romance, Teen Male/Teen Female Author's infos Gender: Male Age: 23 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posted 5 days a

Introduction: Hi, guys, 2 new "Everything wrong with:" every Saturday and Sundays ;) Every thing wrong with “An incest birthday chapter 2“ by nivek_88 Fiction, Consensual Sex, Incest, Romance, Teen Male/Teen Female Introduction: since i got great reviews i decided to keep it going, comments welcome I went back to my room and just laid there. Did that really

One night a couple was lying in bed. The husband was feeling frisky so he rolled over and tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, but I have a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Rejected, the husband turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later he rolls over and whispers in her ear "Do

Introduction: Cuckold People often ask what is a Cuckold husband, so I decided to explain it by way of a question, which gives the answer. Please read on. Does a cuckold watch his wife get fucked through a gap in sliding wardrobe doors. Then on the hour open and close the doors as quickly as he can, while sticking his head in and out shouting,-----CUCKOLD---

During World War II, an American warship was attacked by the Japanese. A torpedo was heading towards the ship and a hit seemed inevitable. The captain told the navigator to go down to the crew quarters and tell a joke or something so at least they would die laughing. The navigator went down and said to the crew, "What would you think if I could split the whole ship in two by hitting my

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does? Read 37923 times | Rated 50.6 % | (206 votes) Vote l

Introduction: a little bit of humor to start off... Once upon a time, there was a fairy princess. she would grant wishes to anybody noble and true, as long as they gave her something in exchange. well, one day, Sir Weecock kidnapped the fairy princess and told her to grant his wish or he would kill her. "whats your wish?" she said. Sir Weecock pulled down his

Introduction: Next time you want to cheat on your wife, think twice! Three men died and stood in front of God.  God asked the first if he had been faithful to his wife.He admitted to two affairs duringhis marriage. God gave him a compact car to drive in heaven. The second man admitted to onlyone affair and was given a midsize car. The third man was asked the

A 60 year old woman came home one day and heard strange noises in her bedroom. She opened the door and discovered her 40 year old daughter playing with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" asked the mother. "Mom, I'm 40 years old and look at me. I'm ugly. I'll never get married, so this is pretty much my husband." The mother walked out of the room, shaking her head. The next day, the fath

Introduction: Phone Call. A little Parody on the Incest theme hope you like it. “Princess” her mother called up the stairs to her, “Donna is on the phone for you”. Princess shouted back “Mam can you tell her I will call her back just as soon as I have finished masturbating”. -------Mam said “You probably heard that Donna”-------------Yeah I did Mr’s Blake, te

Introduction: After fancy dress anal fucking night. “Hi can I speak to Princess please”?---------“Is that you Donna honey” said Mrs Blake. -------“Yeah how are things that end”?-------------------“Oh could not be better there are lots of sore cocks and ass rings here, we had a wonderful fancy dress anal party last night”-------------“Sounds great just what we

Introduction: Preparing for mams Bukkake. Part 3 Beth’s Pre Night Incestation. Mr’s Blake is preparing for an after dinner Bukkake unhooking her bra and slipping out of her panties. Her three brothers are over and two of them along with hubby and her sons are about to cumm plaster her body in appreciation of the beautiful dinner she made. Suddenly the phone r

A young man is driving along in the middle of a thunderstorm when his car breaks down. Lucky for him a farm is nearby. He knocks on the door and a farmer answers. "Hi my car broke down i need a place to stay until morning. Is it alright if I sleep in the barn over there?" "Sure you can stay but on condtion, You stay away from my two virgin daughters Nelly and Venus. If you do I'll ki

FARM BOY WHO NEEDED TO DO HIS CHORES A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed

A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, "You say you've been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?" The wife replies, "It's my husband -- he's driving me crazy! I'm going to leave him if he continues!" "How does he drive you crazy?" "For 20 years," she says, "He's been doing these stup

A man was taking a shower and his daughter walked in and saw the man nude and asked him what that thing hanging between his legs was called. He said it was his goose. She said, "That doesn't look like a goose." He said, "Sure it does." Then she asked if she could pet his goose and he said, "okay." About an hour later she went down stairs for breakfast and her mother ask

One night a little boy walked in on his parents having sex and asked "Daddy what are you doing to mommy?" The father then replied "Son I'm putting a little baby brother inside mommy." The next day the father came home from work and found the little boy sitting on the front porch crying. The father sat down beside his son and ask what was wrong. The little boy said "Well

There was once an old man and a parrot living all alone together for like 40 years. One day, the parrot came to the old man and said, "you know, I've never had a woman in my life." So the old man, as a favour to his best friend, went to the pet store and talked the owner into letting him use a female parrot for one night for the fee of 40 dollars. He took the female home, put it int

A young woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier crying. He took pity on her and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away

Introduction: This came from a particularly amusing friend..... When he came up with this, or were he got it from I can only guess, and I can only hope he didn't try any of these..... If you're going to go down, go down with style. Failing your final exam can actually be an amusing experience, depending on what you make of it. Here are some suggestions...

A young man comes home from the armed forces on leave for the first time, and his dad takes him out for a beer. When they get their beers, his dad asks him, "So son, how do you like the army so far?" "Pretty good, dad," the son replies, "but I had a strange experience the other day during parachute jump training." "What happened?" asked his dad. "Well, we were up about 5000

Introduction: Mum visits her son. Peter invites his mum for tea and notices his flatmate Joe is slightly camp. Although she suspects Peter is gay, he denies that anything is going on and says they are only flat mates. A week later Joe says to Peter "Ever since your mum came to tea I can't find the frying pan. Peter e- mails his mum and says, Dear Mum, I am

A guy comes home to his wife one evening with a big bunch of flowers and she says "I suppose this means I have to get on my back with my legs open for the next three days". The husband says "Why? Don't you have any vases?" Read 33899 times | Rated 49.3 % | (193 votes) Vote l

A guy is outside in his front yard attempting to fly a kite with his son. Every time the kite gets up in the air, it comes crashing down. After this goes on for a while, his wife sticks her head out the front door and yells, "You need more tail." The guy turns to his son and says, "Son, I never will understand women. I just told her an hour ago I needed more tail, and she told me to g

There is a fly flying above the lake, unbeknownst to this fly, a fish was watching him , and thinking if that fly would drop four inches, I could jump out of the water and have me some dinnner, unbeknownst to the fish there was a bear watching the fish watching the fly, and the bear was thinking, if that fly would drop four inches, the fish is gonna jump out to grab the fly and I can r

An Italian woman married an Italian man. The Italian tradition for newlyweds is to remain virgins until they're married and then sleep at the girl's mother's house on their wedding night. After the wedding, the newlyweds went back to her mother's house. The man went up stairs and the woman stayed to talk to her mom. She said, "I don't want to go up there." Her mom said, "He's a good ma

Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN L

Frank Sinatra was playing a gig in Chicago when he noticed female Siamese twins in the audience sitting in the front row enjoying his performance. Frank had a sexual thing for Siamese twins, so he asked his manager to invite them to his hotel room nearby. The manager went over to the two young attractive Siamese twins and asked them if they would like to spend the evening with Mr. Sina

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?" "It's very uncomfortable at first", says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way

Two Norwegian men were driving near Mt. Horab, a Norwegian community in Wisconsin, when they noticed a large billboard sign advertising free sex with a 15 gallon fill-up of gas. Thinking this sounded like too good of a deal to be true, they both decided to check it out and went into town and stopped at the gas station. They filled up their car with gas and went into pay. Before handing

Introduction: Relaxing in Kitchen. Mary and Jane were having a cup of coffee together and got round to discussing their sex lives. Jane said to Mary, "A strange thing I have noticed, after sex my cunt starts twitching for a few minutes, does yours ever do that"? Mary shrugged her shoulders and said "No mine just coughs and scratches his balls". Jane taken ab

What did one lesbian frog say tot he other lesbian frog? Its true we do taste like chicken! Read 27612 times | Rated 42.7 % | (379 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text:    8 comments«12»

Little Johnny hears strange noises from his parents bedroom, He opens their bedroom door and looks inside. On the bed his naked father was bouncing up and down on his equally naked mother like a demented frog, His dad realising the door has been opened looks around to see that he's been watched by his son. He starts laughing and tells him to "Fuck off and shut the door". 10 Min'

Introduction: These arn't related to sex (sorry to disappoint), merely things that I think you'd find funny, they come from a site a friend showed me, enjoy......... or don't enjoy, depends on the type of person you are, as always comments are greatly appreciated. Whichaven civic leaders are flushed with pride after their toilets were called the best in the r

Introduction: Lalalalala. WHAT'S BIG,BLACK AND FULL OF SEAMEN?` A Submarine.xD _______________________________________ Its very cheesy I know but I'm very bored. Idk how to fill up the 5000 characters so I'm gonna sing a Chrristmas Carol! Deck the halls with balls of holly, FALALALALALALALALA, Tis the season to be jolly, FALALALALALALALALA, Dawn we now our gay apparell,

womens rights. sorry about the next part.............-------------------------------------pokkjhyytttttttttttttttttttttttttjjkll...,,,,,,,,l,`...,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,.....................................,........,...........,..................................................................../........................................../......@..................................................

two gay guys and a strait guy are going to go to the superbowl they get to there hotel and theres about six hours to burn finaly after sitting there for a half hour the strait guy sais I know what to do we can play football the two gay guys ask how do we do that he sais burbs will be touchdowns and farts will be feild goals so there burping and farting and the strait guy bends over a

Introduction: just something to read HE: Can I buy you a drink? SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money. HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE: How

Harry goes to he doctor's and sits in a queue between to other guys. They start talking and one admits to having a red ring round the top of his penis. Harry then admits that he too has a line round the top of his penis, but its green The third guy admits that this ring he has is orange. The doctor calls in the first guy with the red ring leaving Harry and the other sufferer nervously

An ace team of sex researchers decided to study both gay men and lesbian women at a local bar. So one day they prepared a questionnaire and asked 20 gay men and 20 lesbian women what they liked most about sex. The gay men at the bar responded, "It tastes great!" And the gay women responded, "It's less filling." Read 43075 times | Rated

Introduction: I have had this joke since I was at Catholic school. Read all the way through, and yes it is a sports joke There is a little girl in court, because she was beaten and raped by her separated mother and father. Being a minor she HAD to choose the Guardian. The judge asked her, you'd you like to like with your dad She shook her head, 'no, he beats

A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf..... Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house an