66 reasons why it's great to be a guy |
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Ms. Nice Gal - "Tickets to the boxing match? Oh Darling, you shouldn't have" Also known as: What a gal, precious, one of the boys, my main squeeze, doormat. Advantages: Cheerful, agreeable, kindly. Disadvantages: May wise up someday. Old Yeller - "You goddamn spineless good-for-nothing drag-ass no-talent son of a bitch! Can't you see you're making me miserable?" Also known as: She-Devil, Sourpuss, the Nag, My Old Lady, Warthog from Hell. Advantages: Pays attention to you. Disadvantages: Screeches, throws frying pans. Sickly - "Oh, my head. My head. My feet. My cramps. My cellulite" Also known as: Whiner, Mewler, Glumpy. Advantages: Predictable. Disadvantages: Contagious. The Bosser - "Stand up straight. Put on a different tie. Get a haircut. Change your job. Make some money. Don't give me that look." Also known as: Whipcracker, The Sarge, Ms. Know-it-all, Ball and Chain, yes Mom. Advantages: Often right. Disadvantages: Often right, but so what? Ms. Vaguely Dissatisfied - "I just can't decide. Should I switch my career, goals, home, and hair colour?" Also known as: The Fretter, Worrywart, Typical, Aw c'mon Honey. Advantages: Easily soothed. Disadvantages: Even more easily perturbed. Wild Woman out of Control - "I've got an idea. Lez get drunk an' make love onna front lawn. I done it before. S'fun." Also known as: Fast girl, freewheeler, goodtime charleena, passed out. Advantages: More fun than a barrel of monkeys. Disadvantages: Unreliable; drives off cliffs. Huffy - "I see nothing humorous in those silly cartoons you keep snickering at" Also known as: No fun, humorless prig, Cold fish, Chilly proposition, iceberg, Snarly. Advantages: Your friends will feel sorry for you. Disadvantages: You will have no friends. Woman from Mars - "I believe this interpretive dance will explain how I feel about our relationship" Also known as: The Babbler, Spooky Girl, Screwball, Loony, Bad News, Artistic. Advantages: Entertaining, unfathomable. Disadvantages: Will read her poetry aloud. Ms. Dreamgirl - "I am utterly content with you just the way you are, my handsome genius of a boyfriend. I think we must make love like crazed weasels now" Also known as: Ms. Right, Goddess, Knockout, Perfection, Gorgeous. Advantages: Funny, intelligent uninhibited. Disadvantages: Will have nothing to do with you. Read 29655 times | Rated 52.3 % | (153 votes) Vote list (Close) : Please rate this text: |